*LATE AT NIGHT* My Pantoum Poem...

Before I write my Pantoum poem, I want to tell you the past life of my poem. I am...as of this early Sunday morning, including today, five days until my 21st birthday. I turn 21 on the 29th of January, and I am really excited! My cousin Jessica turns 21 on the 26th of January...three days before me. We both have lived a couple years longer then a cousin of ours. My cousin Ronald, was a year older then us. He graduated high school, from the Hong Kong International School in Hong Kong, in 2005. A couple months after he graduated he was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoma Leukemia. It was hard to deal with, because I'm here in the USA, and he's over in China...and I wanted to be there with him, but I couldn't. Well, he went into remission in June of 2006, and we thought he was in the clear. Well, Christmas of 2006, I was supposed to go back to Hong Kong to visit family...however, the weather decided to be all psycho, and snow with back to back Blizzards. So, needless to say the trip was off. I was so angry! Because in February of 2007, the Leukemia came back...and that time, he didn't make it. I couldn't even go to the funeral, because classes at school (with my major) weren't helping me. They were going to drop me from a class or lower my grade...and my parents didn't want my grades to suffer...even though I didn't care if they did or not. I was angry and upset for a long time...I had an incredibly hard time coming to terms with what happened. My cousin Ronald was so young! And...although I only saw him every two years, I AM still very close to my family in Hong Kong.

I had a dream one night...that I was at his funeral, and I was crying hysterically. My family in my dream was trying to get me out of the church and they were trying to calm me down, but I was flinging them away...I didn't want to leave, I didn't want the help. I remember thinking in the dream that this is a dream and that I needed to wake up, but I was stuck. I realized that life is short. We can't live it just being scared all the time, we need to live it with happiness and love, we need friends and family, and we need to live like today is our last.

To get over everything...I wrote a play, and started to write a song on the piano, and now...I have written this poem. BECAUSE...without the walks I took at night...I would not have been able to feel cleansed and at peace with everything. Walking at night...by myself with my thoughts, helped me to see...that my cousin is at peace, and that he is safe, not in pain, and happy. So...here is my poem:

*LATE AT NIGHT*

Stars are enchanted dreams.
They shine with love and beauty.
The night sky is filled with a quiet melody.
The moon brings hope, peace, joy.

They shine with love and beauty.
Dancing across the sky like happiness.
The moon brings hope, peace, joy.
Shooting stars soar like life passing by.

Dancing across the sky like happiness.
Fresh crisp air wiping away my tears.
Shooting stars soar like life passing you by.
No more laughs for him.

Fresh crisp air wiping away my tears.
Walking late at night helps me heal.
No more laughs for him.
He shines from Heaven now.

Walking late at night helps me heal.
I'm feeling happier with every dawn.
He shines from Heaven now.
I will see him again one day.

I'm feeling happier with every dawn.
The night sky is filled with a quiet melody.
I will see him again one day.
Stars are enchanted dreams.



The first picture is of me and my cousins this last Christmas of 2009. The second picture is a picture of my cousins Christmas of 2006, the one I was unable to make. My cousin Ronald is the one on the far left.

*Love* J.So